That Spark

I met my husband, Rob, on an ordinary summer night in Wichita, Kansas in 1982. The same year as the invention of the internet, the arrival of the McNugget, ET, the moonwalk, Risky Business, the minivan and AOL. I was out with girlfriends at the local college bar. I noticed him across the room and I think he noticed me at the same time. Our eyes kept meeting and each time we locked eyes, I felt an electric current run through me. It felt like lightening striking. When he finally approached me, I felt lit up by that invisible current. I marvel at that random meeting now.

That spark, that current, and that invisible lightening strike was enough to begin a life-long romance. We had known of each other before this encounter. Wichita is a very “small” large town, yet I had no clue about his personality, his preferences or his morals. He is two years older than me and the big brother to a lovely girl in my high school class named Anna. I knew a few of his friends from working at the same pizza place one summer. And that was it. Yet here he was, and I knew meeting him was going to be big. The match had been lit and while we couldn’t predict what would come next, I felt a deep sense of knowing. My soul’s recognition of his soul.

We married on June 7th, 1986. That year was a sad one in many ways…the Chernobyl disaster, the Challenger crash and the beginning of a recession to name a few events. Yet that 105-degree day could not have been a happier one for us. In front of a large group of family and friends, we committed ourselves to each other. It’s a commitment that has survived the test of births, deaths and all the joys and sorrow of life in-between.

It is our 35th wedding anniversary this year, and we have fanned and coddled and protected that spark as if it were the olympic torch. I feel fortunate that he is as deeply invested in our marriage as I am. It takes two as the saying goes. I wish I could understand what causes that spark to happen. I think it’s the same spark that inspires art and novels and great sports moments. I like to think of it as a wink from the divine or a nudge from the universe to go in this direction. Whatever it is, I feel so happy we both felt it and continue to nurture it this many years later. Happy Anniversary to my Rob. Let’s keep it lit for another 35 years.

Facets of Love

Photo by Min An on Pexels.com

It’s the season of love. It has me reflecting on my marriage and the brand new marriage of our daughter and son- in- law. The wedding was an exciting, heart warming, and at times a stressful event given the circumstances of the last year. That sounds a lot like a marriage. It makes me think of all the different kinds of love that are required in a marriage.

the love of compassion
the love of forgiveness
the love of support
the of desire
the love of steadfastness
the love of patience

Each of these kinds of love is like the facet of a diamond that might be required to shine more brightly at different times than another.

I have known each of these facets in my own marriage. I thought I loved my husband the day I married him. Now I know that I was embarking on a journey with a man that would stretch and pull and grow our hearts in so many ways, that now his heart feels a part of my heart. I could not know that day in June 1986 that I could love with such depth. He is my helpmate, my partner, my cheerleader, my soft place…and I believe I am those things for him. Life has given and continues to give us challenges, and we are fortunate to have taken these on together as a united force. Over time, we have relied on each of these facets of love to be what brings us together.

It is a joy to watch the newlyweds in their new married life. It has reminded me what it felt like to be newly married. It gives my heart hope. I wish them a life free of conflict and challenges, of course. But even more importantly, I wish them a lifetime of coming together when the chips are down. Of finding the right facet of love when life calls for it.

Happy Valentine’s Day to you. I hope your heart is full in this season of love.