Facets of Love

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It’s the season of love. It has me reflecting on my marriage and the brand new marriage of our daughter and son- in- law. The wedding was an exciting, heart warming, and at times a stressful event given the circumstances of the last year. That sounds a lot like a marriage. It makes me think of all the different kinds of love that are required in a marriage.

the love of compassion
the love of forgiveness
the love of support
the of desire
the love of steadfastness
the love of patience

Each of these kinds of love is like the facet of a diamond that might be required to shine more brightly at different times than another.

I have known each of these facets in my own marriage. I thought I loved my husband the day I married him. Now I know that I was embarking on a journey with a man that would stretch and pull and grow our hearts in so many ways, that now his heart feels a part of my heart. I could not know that day in June 1986 that I could love with such depth. He is my helpmate, my partner, my cheerleader, my soft place…and I believe I am those things for him. Life has given and continues to give us challenges, and we are fortunate to have taken these on together as a united force. Over time, we have relied on each of these facets of love to be what brings us together.

It is a joy to watch the newlyweds in their new married life. It has reminded me what it felt like to be newly married. It gives my heart hope. I wish them a life free of conflict and challenges, of course. But even more importantly, I wish them a lifetime of coming together when the chips are down. Of finding the right facet of love when life calls for it.

Happy Valentine’s Day to you. I hope your heart is full in this season of love.

Be Your Own Valentine

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It’s the season of love. Whether you are in a relationship or not, it’s important to be your own valentine. And this idea does not need to be limited to February. We are only able to love others in a healthy way when we nurture a loving relationship with ourselves.

Here are some self-care ideas that are free or don’t cost a lot of money:

  • Say “I love you” to yourself in the mirror three times with feeling ( I know, its weird at first but gets easier with repetition)
  • Drink more water
  • Buy yourself a bouquet
  • Light a candle or two or three
  • Get a mani/pedi
  • Spend time journaling
  • Be in nature
  • Take a bath
  • Meditate
  • Do restorative yoga
  • Make a favorite meal or even better make a nutritious spa meal
  • Spend time reading a book
  • Give yourself a facial
  • Take a nap
  • Call a friend
  • Make herbal tea in your favorite mug
  • Take a technology break for an hour, an afternoon, or the whole day
"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection."  Buddha